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"Power is in the present. Experience counts most. The therapist is his own instrument. Therapy is too good to be limited to the sick."
/ Polster & Polster /
Jokes 2
How can you tell the psychiatrist from the patients on the ward?
The psychiatrist has keys to the door
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"
Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent.
A psychotic thinks that two and two are five.
A neurotic knows two and two are four - but he hates it.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
The psychiatrist has keys to the door
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"
Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent.
A psychotic thinks that two and two are five.
A neurotic knows two and two are four - but he hates it.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
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